Growing old disgracefully
Don't go out with a whimper
You know you've got the hang of it
When you make your family simper

Growing old disgracefully
No point in being fickle
Chase young girls, forget what for
Then remember slap and tickle

Chorus:
Who cares if my investments fall?
Let’s spend the lot and have a ball

Growing old disgracefully
No weirdo diets for me
Fat-rich meals, too much booze
Abysmal junk TV

Growing old disgracefully
No need to show your age
Buy some turbo charged sports car
Find a liking for road rage

Chorus

Growing old disgracefully
Limbo dance at that last wedding
Take up karaoke
Sing a song by Otis Reading

Growing old disgracefully
Throw away the Zimmer
Learn a hazardous new sport
Though your eyesight's growing dimmer

Chorus

Growing old disgracefully
Keep old father time at bay
Become an obstinate old git
And always get your way

Growing old disgracefully
Now all the world's a stage
Put the nail in the coffin
Of that dreary middle-age